All of my life I have been small, but all of a sudden, I unexpectedly gained weight. It’s very unhealthy and uncomfortable. I do not sleep well because it is hard to get comfortable. I am not obese but I just am not at my normal weight. Sometimes I feel stuck and strained because this depresses me. Work seems like a chore instead of enjoyment as it once was. I just want to be full of energy and not tired all of the time.
I walk a lot, but it is as if the weight is not leaving. I have never taken diet pills and I don’t ever intend to. I suppose I will have to just do more power walking like I did two years ago, but this Summer was just so hot. Maybe I can start back when it cools off some. I just want to feel good like I once did before I gained this weight. I am trying to eat more healthy and burn more calories.
I thought this would be funny, but anyway, I just have to meditate and focus on exercising. I want my metabolism to be like it was when I was younger. I could eat whatever I wanted and still feel good, and I never gained any weight. I don’t know when this weight came upon me. I am still trying to figure out when I gained this weight. It could have gradually happened when we were on quarantine and I just didn’t pay it any attention. I was working all of the time and eating late; it could have happened then. All I know is that I want to get back to my normal weight for my height.
Speaking of jumping, when I was younger I loved to jump rope. I stayed in shape. As I got older, I stopped. I don’t know why I did, I was very good at it too. Maybe I need to buy me a jump rope and practice again. I believe it will help me get my metabolism back right so I can have more energy and lose weight. I have got to do something.
Maybe I need to move in more fruits and move out things that’s not good for me; I think I’ll feel better. Maybe I’ll have more energy. Good food is so high now. It’s hard to buy what’s good for me; even vitamins are expensive. What can one do? Maybe I should try meditation to help me focus on not wanting sweets and soda. Those types of things are filled with sugar that’s not good for my body. This time next year I want to be back to my normal size. I want to be able to walk without being winded.
Now that I think about it, I really do need to get back to eating more fruits and vegetables. I would at least get the vitamins from them that is good for my body to help me feel better, and have more energy. Maybe I will sleep better and not wake up tired before I start my day. If I eat less carbohydrates the less I will have to burn. Maybe I need to start counting the calories I take in and start there. I just want to be healthier so my quality of life will be better. I want to be around for a long time. I want to enjoy my grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and most of all live my best life even now. I have so much to look forward too. I want to be happy with how I look. I want to be comfortable in my body , and less depressed.
I always have loved my vegetables, but when I was younger there were certain ones I could not eat, such as beans and tomatoes. I don’t know why they made me sick. I guess they were to strong for my body to digest, but now that I am older, those vegetables don’t bother me anymore. I eat those I like, and the others I try whenever I want to experiment with something new. Getting back into shape is going to be my new journey to start before the new year comes in. I know it is going to be challenging, but I know I can do it. Until next time, my journey begins.
Diva's Journal 